Christmas Eve at Hogwarts
by AmSun
Summary: Remus is wide awake in the lounge during Christmas Eve, having a hard time to sleep. He is soon joined by a sad Lily, who has something important to tell him. A bit Remus/Lily and very little James/Lily. Oneshot.


It was night outside the window and what seemed like solid darkness. One could almost see the snow that covered the ground in front of the mighty castle. The fire crackled in the open fireplace and warmed up the dark room. A young man sat in one of the great wine-red chairs and glanced into the fire.  
So many thoughts flying around in his brain, had a hard time for complacency. When the brain was a muddle, he could not sleep. He was just up in the night, where he felt most at home. In the night was no trial and no have to's, just silence. Beautiful silence.  
He was breathing loudly, so that he could hear it. Nothing was as reassuring as breath from a living being. Even if it happened to be himself.  
Many of the young man's thoughts centered on his friends. Peter, yes, but mostly Sirius and James. They were always the loud and attention-seeking, and he often became so irritated at some of the horrendous things they did. Although, they were his best friends and he could not dislike them. Another thing he could not stop thinking about was love. Knowing that he had no one to love in these Christmas times chafed and hurt.  
Sirius was playing cat and mouse with just about every girl in the whole school. James loved Lily, but she did not love him back. Well, at least James thought so. Peter certainly had some little girl somewhere since he acted so oddly. He had no one. He sighed and curled up on the sofa and allowed the minutes to tick by, wishing he could just fall asleep and forget everything about these girls.  
A dark figure came out of the girls' dormitory and walked towards him. The figure sobbed and wiped her eyes and he could not make out who it was until she stepped into the light from the fire and her dark red hair was lit by flames glow. When you speak about the devil…  
"Lily?" He asked skeptically.  
"Remus." She looked up from the floor and her green eyes met his. Remus pulled a hand through his dishevelled hair and looked at her, worried.  
"How are you feeling?" Her eyes were red-rimmed and wet tears fell down her cheeks. He probably knew very well how she felt.  
"As a bunch of dragon snot." She laughed again, but it went over in silence sobbed. Lily buried her face in her hands. Remus put an arm around her shoulders and led her to the couch. "Can't sleep either?" She asked.  
He shook his head. "No, I have too much to think about. In addition, it's Christmas Day tomorrow. "He smiled a crooked smile which is not represented at all how he felt inside. He was worried about Lily.  
She nodded quietly and curled up against him on the couch.  
It had been quite a big bunch seven-graders who stayed to celebrate Christmas at Hogwarts the last year, many had no need to spend Christmas there but really wanted it as one last memory before they all parted. Remus saw it as a positive thing, he got to spend more time with their friends in the atmosphere at Hogwarts, which during the Christmas season was incredible.  
Remus wondered in his own mind how beautiful, always happy Lily Evans could be so sad the night before Christmas Day. "Why are you crying?" He asked quietly and almost hoped and wished she would not hear him. He wasn't good at comforting, specially not girls, but he wanted to know.  
She turned around quickly, looking at him. She had heard. Lily was silent for a moment and looked down on the lines of her hands, her eyes followed them as if they would lead somewhere. "I think I'm in love." Remus looked shocked at her and then started laughing.  
"You're in love?" He burst out between laughs. "I thought it was something much, much worse." Lily looked very offended out and turned away from him. "It's not fun. I thought you were my friend!" She murmured between closed teeth. He could feel how she shook with tears and anger.  
Immediately he repented. "I'm sorry, Lily. I did not think about that .. . I was just relieved." He sighed and disappeared into his own thoughts again. He thought through all the letters they wrote to each other, they exchanged letters occasionally, for clues to who this mysterious love was. She had never mentioned any other guy. If not ... He took a deep breath. Was it him she was in love with? He looked nervously at the incredibly beautiful young girl who sat next to him. Remus watched her shiny red hair and pale, slender hands. She was beautiful, yes, but he was not in love with her. His heart didn't pound extra hard when he saw her.  
They sat there silent and Remus nervously wondered how he could explain to her that he didn't love her back. She was already angry and sad. He did not want to make her cry because her love was unanswered. Maybe she already was crying because she thought he did not love her back?  
Eventually he decided that he would pretend. It was not that bad to just pretend until the semester ended, just because she would be happy. No, that was exactly what he had to do. He grabbed her shoulders so she turned around and then he gently took her face in her hands.  
They leaned closer together and his hands caressed her soft cheek. Remus kissed her lightly and closed his eyes. He tried to remove Lily, his friend, from his head and instead think of another girl, a girl he loved and wanted to spend his entire life with. First she kissed him back, feather-light. He could feel her warm breath touch his face. Then she retracted. Remus quickly opened up his eyes and looked at Lily. She looked puzzled and he tried to explain himself while did the same, both with glowing red cheeks. Their words twisted together and became one jumble.  
After a while they both realized the hopelessness of talking at the very same time and so they stopped. The two friends sat there and just looked at each other. Lily was the one who first broke the silence.  
"Remus, you are wonderful, really. I never want to lose you as a friend and you have helped me through a lot. But I do not love you. "She looked sadly at him and her voice was weak. She had at least stopped crying.  
"Oh. So you didn't talk about me? I- I don't really love you either, Lily, I just wanted to make you happy again." He smiled a wryly smile, obviously very embarrassed.  
Now she started to giggle. She giggled and giggled until it was pure, jingling laughter. Remus looked at her and grinned as he tried to hush her. She laughed so loud that she would bring the entire Gryffindor awake if she continued.  
After a while she calmed down and could talk normally again. "I'm sorry, Remus." She said quickly. "But I will never fall in love with you, I thought you knew. I love James, I think. "She sighed. "But he's a real jackass. He has been much nicer now but I'll never be able to trust that he won't start being an idiot again. The way he behaved towards Severus, even though he Severus too acted wrong was so mean and his slimy comments are just so ... Ugh. But he is cute in his own way. He make me feel like I'm made of thousands of butterflies and sometimes he is so incredibly kind and gentlemanly-like. "  
"Was it him you were crying about?"  
She nodded. "I bought a Christmas present for him, you know, and I thought I should ask him out since this is our last year ... But I do not know if he would appreciate it. He is so cold sometimes. "  
Remus looked at her and saw how her eyes sparkled of frustration.  
He hugged her tightly. "Lily, I promise you that nobody will be happier then James. He thinks you are fantastic. I doubt that he will act like an idiot in the future, he does it to feel cool and get people to admire him and if he finds someone who thinks he's not cool but just silly, someone he cares about, he can probably give it up. "  
"Thank you, Remus."  
She put his hand into the pocket of her pyjamas and pulled up a neck link in silver, "I bought this during the summer holidays. He should have it. Can you sneak it in for me?"  
"Of course I can." He promised and she gave him the silver-link, which was warm after being in her pocket, and a pre-written letter. "So, are you staying here?" Remus asked.  
"Yes, I'm staying. I really still don't feel like sleeping"  
Remus slipped into the boys dormitory and laid the link on James' night-stand. He glanced at his friends, they slept deeply. They were not always as tough as they thought they were. He sneaked out again, quietly, so that he would not wake anyone up. When he came out, Lily sat on the couch and he sat beside her and talked low until their eyelids could not stay open longer, until they fell asleep side by side in the lounge.

The sun rose to the sky and eventually the room was filled with people singing Christmas carols and changed gifts. When Remus opened his eyes Lily was gone and he sat and looked out over all the happy students for a while before he went into the dormitory. A big pile of gifts laid at the low foot end of his bed and he dealt with them with a smile.  
Several packages later, he went towards his friends' beds. If he knew them well they would still be fast asleep and he was after all a marauder. This meant that he had to play them an innocent prank.  
"Aguamenti" he exclaimed, as he stood over Sirius. The clear water made the young man instantly dripping wet and an angry Sirius had awakened. If Remus wouldn't have made a gesture towards James bed and hushed his friend, he would have been at least half dead.  
Together they performed Aquamenti against James and they laughed when he woke up, spitting and milling. Sirius was blamed for the prank though as James knew that Remus wouldn't play as many tricks as the other. As James haunted Sirius across the lounge Remus took off towards Peter's bed, but he was already awake so instead, Remus took his version of "For The Jinx Jinxed" given to him by his parents and sat in the very comfortable sofa outside the dormitory.  
Several pages later, he saw Lily and James walk close together. He had never seen a couple that was better suited for each other, although they were quite different. James wore his necklace and he only had eyes for the girl at his side and Lily just beamed.

"You are just wonderful" James said to her before they walked out of the lounge. "The silver-link is perfect."  
Remus moved touched his lips carefully and disappeared into his own thoughts. James was right, she was _really_ wonderful.

**Thank you for reading :)**

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